Read the post prior to this first....
Day 1
Being dedicated to learning the technique I had decided I would follow the rules as much as possible this meant no communication,talking or writing ( I had every urge to journal my experience and witheld. One day I wrote down 2 words to remember and felt guilty. I also think i might talked to myself a couple of times on my walks.... not sure if that counts. The rules also meant no excercise. I knew this coming in and I knew this might be a problem. I LOVE movement, it was eases my mind. But aside from a few stretches here and there and my speed walking around the center, I refrained from thinking and desiring activity. Suprisingly it wasnt too bad and quite honestly how could one have energy to move when you are sitting for 10 hours trying to keep up with your racing mind, phew...talk about a workout. Following the rules meant following the timetable which meant getting up to meditate at 4:30am. I was up at 4:20, bundled up in all my layers (side note: The one time I try to pack light I should have packed heavy. It was cold and I practically wore all my clothes EVERYDAY!)and I trekked the 5 minutes to the pleasantly heated meditation hall and sat down in my assinged meditation seat and began. Began what? Began observing my breath and how it flows... this was the assingment of the day. No easy task. Every so often I would be in lala land and have to come back and find the breath. How can the breath, that provides us the basis to live, be soooooo boring to observe! I somehow managed and made it through the 2 hour meditation. The last 30 minutes were accompanied by Goenkaji chanting. I have to admit my ear senses were not happy at first but with each day this changed and by the last day I was rushing to the bookstore to purchase the chants.
The gong rings at 6:30am and its time for breakfast. All food was served buffet style so its all you can eat (there is a catch to that) Breakfast was the same everyday: oatmeal, prune puree cereal,rice soup, rice, lots of fresh fruit, yogurt, various sprouted breads, peanut butter, jelly, butter, tea. I stuck to the oatmeal with the prunes and fruit with some yogurt and honey. I hadn't had oatmeal in a long time so was ready to face some digestive difficulties. Also, I had engrained in my head to balance all my meals and here I am with a plate full of carbs, my mind cringed with each bite but soon enough it got over it. Side Note: The food is all considered Dhana (service) and actually the entire teaching is in the name of service. No fees are attained to participate in the course and all that is asked is if one feels compelled to, please make a donation to pay the service forward to others. This concept allows the teaching to be pure and retained in its authenticity. This also means that as a student you accept and appreciate what is provided/served to you. I found the food to be quite nice and filled up on it. By 7am I was out of the dining hall and at 7:15 I was back in bed with my alarm set for 7:45 at which time I was up and walking to the meditation hall for an 8am sit. 9am to 11am we could either sit in the hall or meditate in our rooms, I opted to go back to my room and entertained the idea of sleeping but quite honestly I wasnt tired and if I wasn't meditating then there was nothing else to do, so I sat down and again focused on my breath. Atleast I was making progress... the breath is coming in, going out, oh its coming in through the right nostril, oh that means the left is inactive right now... hmm... is that pingala nadi???... oh shoot im thinking again... back to the breath. Like this an hour or so passed. I opened my eyes and it was 10:30 and I deserved a cat nap.
11am its time for lunch so again I walk to the dining hall and was impressed with the offerings. The salad was amazing and the soy salad dressing was de-lish! Everyday there was salad and accomponied by another dish we had ratoutile, moroccan stew, corn bread, tofu, polenta, there was even a day we had chocolate cake... HEAVEN! So I filled up my plate and sat down to eat in silence... all you hear is clinking of silverware. I also noticed that in silence I was more aware of my surroundings. If someone needed to walk past me I was aware of that and pull my chair in rather than be consumed by MY meal. So, I figured since this is my last meal of the day (we would only be recieving tea and fruit at 5pm) I should eat more food. I out of there by 11:30 and stuffed full in a not so good way. I had an hour break so I walked, speed walked, around the trails to walk off my food and get some air. I do love nature and this was a beautiful setting of trees and mountains, and a lake, and squirrels and deer (no pictures were allowed so I had to capture this in my mind). As I was walking by a tree I noticed two squirrels chasing each other. I stopped to watch them and I smiled at their play, it was almost like a game of hide and seek. One squirrel on one side of the tree and the other on the other side. The squirrel being chased tries not to move so his seeker cant find him but with one slight movement the chase starts again. hahaha... it was entertaining. 12:15 became my shower time and by 1pm it was time to sit and meditate again. I would either go to the hall or stay in my room, each had its own energy. My mind still wandered like crazy but i was noticing and observing the breath more. 2:30pm go to the hall and sit for one hour and then break for a few minutes and 3:40pm sit until 5pm. I would stay in the hall during this time since I was already there but by 4:40ish I was done and ready to move. 5pm tea time rolls around and I speedwalk to the dining hall and grab a half banana, apple, and persimmon and some tea. Again worried I would starve all night I had another persimmon, again leaving the hall uncomfortably full. 6pm back to meditation in the hall and 7pm was time for discourse...
yup lecture time. The whole course is taught via videos and tapings of Goenkaji teaching and its quite consistent. I noticed when the video started that it was taped in 1991, guess they didnt want to retape. This was no extravagantly shot video with a beach setting... in the words of Goenkaji -nothing doing. It was just him teaching an actual seminar to students. And it was suprisingly informative, light, and funny! Goenkaji is the teacher of the vipassana center and was the match that reignited the flame of vipassana in India and around the world. He is originally from Burma and came from a business family with lots of wealth but also lots of misery. He encountered vipassana in Burma and that engulfed him on this path. All the discourses began the same way with Goenkaji calmly saying "Day x has ended, you now have y more to work, and work hard" His words are very compassionate and his teachings come from the heart. As Im listening to this discourse he begins to talk of change and I am nodding my head in agreance. Ofcourse everything changes, it is inevitable. But then he says something that make my ears perk. In order to understand change one must EXPERIENCE change WITHIN. Hmmm??? Change is constant inside and out and if we are all just particles combined together to give the illusion of mass then these particles are constantly changing and one must experience that and be unaffected by that, then only can one be at peace. I didn't buy it completely but I was there to experience so lets see. The one change I did notice was all the noises coming from everyones tummies... and with that Goenkaji talks about the food being served and to notice craving and indulgence or fear of starving don't react to these sensations and eat more than needed because then you will not be able to meditate. Always stay 1/3 empty. Couldnt they have said this earlier? I guess he wanted us to experience that too. He continues to talk about the depth of the study we have took on.
It will not be easy or fun, you have to work and work diligently, continuously. There will be difficulties especially day 2 and day 6, you might want to leave but you cannot. He refers to the 10 days as a brain surgery an the operation has just begun, leaving now could be destructive. YIKES, What have I gotten myself into! He ends every discourse with word of love and compassion for all and by saying take 5 minutes and then begin again which is amusing since we have been working ALL day. 8:30 pm we have a half hour meditation to practice the new homework which was now to not only observe the breath but also observe sensations around the nose... now im supposed to only focus on my nose? 9pm finally go back to our quarters and rest... pondering what I am doing, why I am here, and how quickly this day just passed. 9 more to go. I drift to sleep.
More to come...
mettalove
For more information on vipassana visit: http://www.dhamma.org/
