After months of preparing (physically and mentally) lots of
trips to REI, and of course SF airport traffic on Christmas eve I had finally
settled into my 5 hour United Airlines flight nestled between two bigger
passengers (yup I had a middle seat). The adventure had begun. I still don’t
understand how people sleep on flights let alone in a middle seat. I always
walk off of my red eye flights… well RED EYED and far from bushy tailed. The
guy sitting next to me on the other hand had NO problem passing out for the
entire flight. I thought about how to nicely wake him up so I could get out to
go to the bathroom. Turns out there is no nice way. His tray table was out,
legs fully extended, and snores galore… I couldn’t even jump over him. So I
waited patiently for the lights to turn on so he’d wake up and I’d have bladder
relief. Thank goddess for TV entertainment; I watched the Steve Jobs movie (the
movie doesn’t do him justice, the book is much better).
12 hours in NYC on Christmas Eve. I was desperately in need
of food, a mani/pedi (something had to fall off the last minute list) and a
nap… preferably all at once. Surprisingly although the city stays awake all
night the airport doesn’t. At 6:30 am there were only a couple of places open,
I found one that had eggs and coffee. The thought of leaving the airport in
search of a spending time at a luxurious spa relaxing with cucumber water and a
steam room sounded delightful. The act of it sounded exhausting. So I settled
for the Xpress Spa at the airport. There was no cucumber water but there was an
amazing massage chair that reclined all the way back into a bed… I had found
heaven. 3 hours later I felt refreshed from my massage chair power nap (free of
charge) and no pleasantly surprised by my new manicure.
Time to leave the airport, it was 1pm and I still had 5
hours to kill. I grabbed a taxi and head out to East Village to meet an old
friend for coffee. According to Google maps I was only 30 minutes away,
according to NYC traffic I was an hour and 15 minutes away. Traffic on
Christmas eve?! Shouldn’t these people be at home enjoying dinner with the
family… ugh! I walked up to the café and was greeted by a big “closed” sign… I
couldn’t help but laugh. We walked down the street to another place and sat
down with a cup of coffee to catch up. It was a nice break from airline food
and passenger seats.
6pm and I’m back at the airport looking forward to another 6
hour flight, this was one was international which means one very important
thing… free wine! My second thought was hmm… the wine would be so much better
in business class… I wonder if I can upgrade. For those that know me know my
motto “it never hurts to ask, the worst they can say is NO”. So I walked over
to the counter and kindly asked the Swiss rep if there was any more
availability in business class. He took my passport and boarding pass and asked
me not to board until he called my name. Yes sir. When my name was called I was handed a
business class boarding pass, yes my friends it was a free upgrade! I had my
fully reclinable seat (with massage) between to table rests vs. two people.
Before I could wipe the smile on my face for the luxuriously upgraded ambience
I was handed a glass of champagne… could this get any better?! I was given a
menu to order breakfast (it was only 6pm at night) and then later asked what I
wanted for dinner (options included steak, sea bass, or chicken) and lastly
what I wanted to drink (wine options included: Swiss wine, Australian wine, or
a Boudreaux). Needless to say I was a happy flier… I love you Swiss airlines!
Zurich arrived quicker than I’d have liked, I was still
enjoying my luxury seat. We arrived early and the Zurich airport was even more
desolate than the NYC airport. It was a quick 2-hour lay over. I thought I’d
try my luck again and ask for an upgrade. The Swiss were not so accommodating;
the exchange went something like this:
Me: “Hi, I was able to get upgraded to business class on my
previous flight, do you have any business class seats available?”
Swiss Air: “Yes, we have seats available. It will cost
$1000. Shall I upgrade you?”
Me: “1,000 dollars?! That’s
half my flight cost. No thank you. Can I get moved to an aisle seat at least?”
Swiss Air: “ No. We don’t have any. But I see that your
luggage tag is not yet on the plane. Give me your tag so I can confirm your
luggage”
Me: Oh, that would be much appreciated. Please make sure my
luggage gets on the plane”
Swiss Air: Okay, you’re all set
Me: So my luggage was transferred, correct?
Swiss Air: Yes.
At least something good came out of that exchange. My bag
didn’t get left behind. But I still wanted an aisle seat for this long flight.
I thought I’d ask the other lady (who by the way happily upgraded a party of
4). She said there were no upgrades available but kindly moved me to an aisle
seat. Why the other lady didn’t do that, I have no idea but I chalk it up to
poor customer service and laziness!
From business class to economy class… talk about disparity!
It occurred to me that the class system so heavily prevalent in society exists
on a very similar level on the plane and it boiled down to choice. My seat was
tiny with barely any legroom and I was shoulder to shoulder with the man next
to me. There were no choices. If you’re rich you are offered lots of choices
but if you’re not you take what you can get. IT contradicts our human nature to
seek out autonomy and have choice. No wonder people are so grumpy coming off of
planes. For 8 hours they are confined to their seat at the mercy of the airhostess.
Okay, I admit I might be being a bit over dramatic here but that’s what happens
when you have had no sleep and are on malaria medicine.
To be continued...
