5/14/2011 200K Ride
125 miles done. .. it's the longest ride I have done to date and I admit I was scurred, more so about getting up on time than the actual ride, but scared nonetheless. I figured it would be fairly flat and it really would be about time in the saddle. I barely slept and was up at 4am leaving the house at 4:30 in the DARK to get to the meet point... there was a time when I used to come HOME at 4am and now I am leaving the house at that time, wow how times have changed, all for the cause. Around 5:45 we hit the road for the next 8+ hours. I wish sunshine had peaked through a bit more because it was COLD! The terrain was moderate, nothing unexpected. The body and mind though, I learned again how variable these are. Today was a "I can't" day, these are far and few for me but they happen. My body was trying to pedal faster to keep pace was some road warriors, and I couldn't. I would try, and then quickly burn out. Usually I could push it, but today was a different day. I was plugging away and then around mile 43 I hit a wall... a rush of emotion bubbled to the surface and I wanted to burst into tears. Why? Great question, I have no clue. Perhaps I was tired, or low in food stores, or still trying to shake off the snappy attitude a friend (I still heart you) had thrown at me earlier, or maybe it was all in my head, a little voice was saying I wasn't good enough today, I hadn't encountered this voice before and quite frankly wanted it to shut up. The reasons are endless but the feelings were one, overwhelming. Here I am on the road with a bunch of speedies and suddenly I want to cry, my first thought was "oh hell no, not in front of all these people", my second thought was "keep riding, it will pass". A friend of mine (I heart you too) slowed down to provide some words of encouragement and my response was a snappy " I AM trying" I was trying, but today it wasn't showing. I held the tears back, embarrassed to fall apart on a bicycle. I should have known that wouldn't last... a few miles later a climb approached ahead... I needed a moment if I was going to conquer this. I pulled over, took a sip of water, and no sooner was I done with the sip the tears were flowing. And I let them, well for atleast a minute. A huge lesson learned... don't hold back from self- expression... you only get stronger by letting go of the weakness. The emotion passed, and I was ready to go... It was almost like a second wind... I felt better. The ride was no picnic in the park, it was a challenge. For me the challenge was to overcome the negativity I harnessed today." I can't" continued but the "I will" flourished. The miles were fun, quiet, boring, loud, and everything in between and that's what makes it an adventure.
Lessons learned:
- Bonking is real
- Its' okay to say I can't and feel I can't but continue to DO, and it will pass.
- Some of the people who you will trust the most may have been in your life the least amount of time.
mettaLOVE
Ritu
by Ritu Riyat on Sun, May 22, 2011 @ 8:44 PM
125 miles done. .. it's the longest ride I have done to date and I admit I was scurred, more so about getting up on time than the actual ride, but scared nonetheless. I figured it would be fairly flat and it really would be about time in the saddle. I barely slept and was up at 4am leaving the house at 4:30 in the DARK to get to the meet point... there was a time when I used to come HOME at 4am and now I am leaving the house at that time, wow how times have changed, all for the cause. Around 5:45 we hit the road for the next 8+ hours. I wish sunshine had peaked through a bit more because it was COLD! The terrain was moderate, nothing unexpected. The body and mind though, I learned again how variable these are. Today was a "I can't" day, these are far and few for me but they happen. My body was trying to pedal faster to keep pace was some road warriors, and I couldn't. I would try, and then quickly burn out. Usually I could push it, but today was a different day. I was plugging away and then around mile 43 I hit a wall... a rush of emotion bubbled to the surface and I wanted to burst into tears. Why? Great question, I have no clue. Perhaps I was tired, or low in food stores, or still trying to shake off the snappy attitude a friend (I still heart you) had thrown at me earlier, or maybe it was all in my head, a little voice was saying I wasn't good enough today, I hadn't encountered this voice before and quite frankly wanted it to shut up. The reasons are endless but the feelings were one, overwhelming. Here I am on the road with a bunch of speedies and suddenly I want to cry, my first thought was "oh hell no, not in front of all these people", my second thought was "keep riding, it will pass". A friend of mine (I heart you too) slowed down to provide some words of encouragement and my response was a snappy " I AM trying" I was trying, but today it wasn't showing. I held the tears back, embarrassed to fall apart on a bicycle. I should have known that wouldn't last... a few miles later a climb approached ahead... I needed a moment if I was going to conquer this. I pulled over, took a sip of water, and no sooner was I done with the sip the tears were flowing. And I let them, well for atleast a minute. A huge lesson learned... don't hold back from self- expression... you only get stronger by letting go of the weakness. The emotion passed, and I was ready to go... It was almost like a second wind... I felt better. The ride was no picnic in the park, it was a challenge. For me the challenge was to overcome the negativity I harnessed today." I can't" continued but the "I will" flourished. The miles were fun, quiet, boring, loud, and everything in between and that's what makes it an adventure.
Lessons learned:
- Bonking is real
- Its' okay to say I can't and feel I can't but continue to DO, and it will pass.
- Some of the people who you will trust the most may have been in your life the least amount of time.
mettaLOVE
Ritu
by Ritu Riyat on Sun, May 22, 2011 @ 8:44 PM
