Meditation started at 4:30 am which was a little nerve-racking considering I could barely get up at 7am at home. My alarm went off at 4:15 and like clockwork I was out of bed, in my clothes and off to the dhamma hall. I stopped briefly along the way to gaze up and reassure myself that last night’s rendezvous was not a dream. The stars had turned in for the night but the bright beautiful moon was shining down at me… yup… love it is.
There is something special about the morning energy, the time when most beings are still in a dream state a place that is somewhat more innocent than our waking, walking, thinking minds. During this time a dense, deep, energy fills the atmosphere and for those that are awake and aware at this time … they are touched by this energy. My semi dream state allowed for a peaceful meditation that went something like this. Breathe in, breathe out… inhale, exhale… inhale…. I can’t wait for that fig stew at breakfast, yum… darn I’m not breathing, oh wait I am breathing I’m just not paying attention. Okay where was I? Breathe out… inhale… exhale.
The morning sits last for 2 hours and I cycled through the above process for about the entire time with, of course, intermittent moments of my ignorant version of enlightenment. I would breathe and then wander and then breathe and wander. It sounds kind a crazy but those moments where I was breathing and was present they were priceless. The wandering on the other hand, well you got to take the good with the not so good. I have to say though; it’s amazing how much information we have stored in the noggin. Memories streamed in and out of my mind like Netflix on crack. Pulling up old conversations and events that I couldn’t ever selectively recall. And as sporadically as they would appear they would disappear.
After my first of 2 meals for the day I went back to my room for a quick cat nap until 7:55. The bell rang and I was back at the dhamma hall for meditation. I settled into my seated position and closed my eyes, the instructions started. “Your time here is very short, only 3 days. You must work seriously. Very seriously. Every moment is very precious. See to it that you do no waste this time. Work very seriously.” Goenkaji’s words echoed in my ears, and I got to work. The thoughts continued to pour in and I would catch myself entertaining the thoughts and playing them out like a mini sitcom. Then I’d have to roll my shoulders back and say “reality check” that’s’ the past, or that’s the future or that’s not how the story went. I noticed how my face would get all scrunched up when my mind was carried away with thoughts and it would release and relax when my mind came back to the breath. As if it was more work to be carried away than not and then there was the endless wrinkle damage it was causing. I tested my theory throughout the day and validated it to be true – with the small but telling sample size of 1.
I worked diligently and partially enjoyed the process. The thoughts weren’t as painful as what I remember from the 10 day course and I didn’t care to entertain them for too long. I didn’t get bored enough the hour to have to create full production films. It was a pleasant change.
5pm rolled around and it was tea time. Just tea and fruit juice, no cookies, no crackers and definitely no real food. Because we were old students we had to honor the remaining 3 precepts one of which was no food after 12. Because we were not utilizing much physical energy the excess food would burden the digestive system and distract the mind from focus. It was a tuff thing to swallow the first day. I was hungry and my tummy was grumbling. I drank the fruit juice, chewed on the ginger pieces that were in there and filled up my canteen with hot tea to get me through the remainder of the night.
We had our final group sit of the night followed by our first discourse. Discourse is when Goenkaji talks about the theory behind the technique. I was looking forward to this, from what I remember it was a nice comic relief to watch these recordings from 1982 and hear Goenkaji’s stories and his jovial laugh. The discourse began and Goenkaji’s voice came on “day 1 has ended of this short course…” I gazed at the TV screen waiting to see Goenkajis face to put a visual to the voice but there was no face! I realized that these discourses had no video, only audio. Sigh. Guess it’s “change”.
A brief background – Vipassana means to see things as they are. It is an ancient technique passed down in the lineage of Gautama, the Buddha and teaches the art of remaining equanimous. The technique is mastered through self-experimentation, practicing in your own laboratory, the framework of the body. There are no mantras to repeat, visuals to imagine, or deities to devote. The only point of focus is breath, the life force that runs through every being regardless of race, religion, age, gender, etc. Working with the breath one learns to still the mind and overcome the body. Powerful tools that we all have access to. Access, yes but awareness, no. Can you imagine how different this world would be if everyone acted out of awareness rather than emotion. If food was eaten mindfully, words were spoken with compassion, and individual feelings were resolved within the individual rather than expressed onto another. Sign me up for that place. The cool thing is they are actually putting it to the test by implementing Vipassana in the prison systems amongst inmates. Change in action.
Read more... Vipassana Part 4: Flow
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